Monday, November 12, 2012

Anxiety? Frustration? All rolled into one!

Okay, I know that a paid trip to Las Vegas and the ability to meet/connect with fellow educators who teach English and Reading should make me giddy, but it does not. Not only is Las Vegas not my idea of a good time (sorry I do not gamble or do the lovely things Vegas is known for), but leaving my students right now is giving me severe anxiety. No matter what I do to prepare my students for my departure, every time I leave for a training my students fall apart. Why? I pre-teach the lesson that the substitute will have the students working on, I do not introduce new material, and I leave all support materials on my website. What am I doing wrong? Any ideas out there? I also feel that I have soooo much to do, as we as educators ultimately always feel. I feel that no matter what I put for a time frame in my mind, even estimating a longer amount of time, for lessons it always takes two-times longer. Yes frustration and anxiety are my new go to words. Now add on a trip that will take me away from my students for four school days and six days away from my family and I am trying not to rip my hair out or give myself another ulcer (I think I already have one as my stomach is a molton lava pit with a churning of acid). I sit and take a deep breath, just hoping that this time everything will be great. That this time the students will not have a zillion questions for me via the web/mail. That this time I will see the beautifully completed work of my smiling, angelic students. That this time my dream is a reality. Please! Please! I beg that all goes well and I come back refreshed, energized, and renewed to the students who missed me and are eager to learn. No I am not dreaming!

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